Ariella Milanese

Ariella Milanese was born in October 1936, in San Lorenzo di Fumicello, in the province of Udine, in the Friuli-Venezia-Giulia region, in northeast Italy. She is the second child of four of Romolo Milanese and Anna Pasqualini.

A month after Ariella was born, the family moved to a small farm house in the neighbouring town of Villa Vicentina, with the rest of her father’s family. Romolo and his three brothers, their families, and his parents all lived in the small home, eventually 23 people in total. Each family had a single room to sleep in and there was a small barn for the animals that they would use to supplement the income from the family trucking business.

Romolo and one of his brothers owned and operated a small trucking company out of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. They would send money back home; the remaining two brothers stayed home in Italy and took care of the family.

During WWII, when the Allied Forces freed Ethiopia from Nazi occupation, all Germans, and Italians there were imprisoned in Prisoner of War (POW) camps, and their possessions seized. Romolo and his brother lost everything. Romolo remained a prisoner until the end of the war but his brother had escaped and lived at large among the locals.

While Romolo was imprisoned in Ethiopia, his youngest daughter was born but she never met her father until she was six. After her birth, he wanted a picture of her so he could see what she looked like. So, Anna took her three daughters into town to take a picture to send to their father and with the leftover money she would buy each of the girls a little doll as long as they behaved. However, when the photographer tried to make sure that the girls were looking at the camera little Ariella took things a little too literally. The photographer told the girls to “look at the little birdie” and little Ariella stepped out of frame looking for the birdie, ruining that picture and several more before they finally got a good picture. Unfortunately, this used up the little money they had and so the girls were unable to get a new doll much to their dismay.

During this time in Italy, it wasn’t common for children to continue education past grade 5, as many of them were needed on family farms. However, Ariella was different, she wanted to keep learning. Her grandfather had to beg the teacher to let her go to grade 6. She was ultimately given permission but had to take a bike ride there and back, over an hour away, as it was the only place nearby that offered grade 6.

Ariella wanted to learn how to sew. Her family encouraged her to ask for lessons from a woman in a neighbouring town who was an expert dressmaker. However, before the dressmaker could help her, Ariella had to get her certificates in cutting and designing. The closest place to get these certifications was a long bus or train ride away and the train didn’t even stop in Villa Vicentina, and no one in the family had a car. So Ariella’s father made arrangements with a friend to pick Ariella up at the train station and bring her home, usually after midnight. Ariella spent three years working under the expert dressmaker, making simple clothes for her family; although she remembers that it took a lot of time before the clothes began to look good, she mostly learned from doing.

As was common in Italy, soldiers from the south are sent to the north and vice versa to fulfill their mandatory military service. As is so often the case, those stationed away from home, mix and mingle with locals and relationships inevitably blossom. This happened to both Ariella and her older sister. Her sister ended up marrying a young man from Sardinia and years later Ariella married a young man from Sicily. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to Ariella, her husband had been much more ill than he eluded too during most of their courtship. At 23, and less than three weeks married, Ariella was a widow.

She now found herself alone and in charge of her husband’s bar, working in it in order to pass the time, make some money and honour the memory of her late husband, with some help from friends and family. One day Mario Pecile, the brother of Ariella’s neighbour, came into the bar. He had immigrated to Canada eight years earlier and returned to visit his family. He was instantly taken with Ariella and the fact that she was widowed didn’t seem to matter to him. However, Ariella was hesitant to speak with him. He began sending her letters every day, through his sister. Mario and Ariella spoke through letters for a year and love bloomed. Ariella agreed to immigrate to Canada and marry him.

In late November of 1960 Ariella was set to leave Italy and start her new life in Canada. Mario’s brother-in-law and Ariella’s mom drove Ariella to Milan, where she would board a flight to Rome, where she would in turn board a connecting flight to Toronto, Canada. However, things soon changed, as the flight from Milan to Rome was late and she missed her connecting flight to Toronto.

After hours debating with the airline, she convinced them to do whatever they needed to make whatever arrangements, absorb whatever fees, pay for a telegram to Toronto, and pay for the hotel in the interim for both herself and a young fellow passenger and her two young children; and they did, via New York. Ariella helped the woman take care of her children while they waited to get to Canada.

Ariella arrived in New York two days later, but it was not a pleasant experience, as neither of the two women could speak any English and they understood less. They were ushered from the plane by two police officers and questioned in a small waiting room. While waiting for their connection to Toronto and after much difficulty with the language barrier, Ariella was able to get some milk for the children.

Finally, she landed in Toronto after the long and bumpy journey. Ariella was met by Mario who had received her telegram telling him of the change of plans.

Ariella had a visa that indicated she had one month to marry Mario, or she would be deported back to Italy. Eleven days after arriving, the two were married in a small ceremony with a few friends Mario had made in Canada in attendance.

When Ariella arrived in Canada her steamer trunk, full of dishes, towels, sheets, blankets and other linens, as well as a sewing machine, had been lost, meaning that she started her marriage without much of her needed supplies. She had to go shopping for these things and Mario arranged for his landlord’s wife to help her shop for these items, while he was at work. Ariella eventually received her trunk a month after arriving, with some of her dishes broken.

When Ariella first arrived in Canada Mario was staying in a typical bachelor pad, so after they married, they began renting a small apartment on McRoberts Avenue in Toronto’s Little Italy. After a dispute with the landlord, they found another apartment on Earlscourt Ave. and the landlord there was a sweet and kind lady. The couple stayed there until they purchased their first home.

Ariella wanted to work to help earn money for her new family but, when she learned that she was pregnant, Mario wouldn’t let her out, fearing something could happen to the baby. Living off meagre fixed incomes, Ariella and a friend, who was also pregnant and from the same part of Italy, would routinely go shopping for fabric, to make their own baby clothes, diapers, bedding, and more. Mario and Ariella went to buy a crib, but their superstitions prevented them from doing so until after the baby was born. In January 1962, Stefano, their first son, was born.

In October of that year Mario and Ariella bought their first home, a small bungalow in North York, for $15,000.

In June 1965, Robert, their second son was born.

A sewing/social club was soon formed. It was much cheaper to buy large bolts of fabric and make your own clothes then buy new, so Ariella began making clothes for her family and friends, when it came to special occasions and important events. However, making these clothes by herself was not easy, so she enlisted the help of her small group of friends. Although the group was established for sewing, it was more of a social gathering with some sewing sprinkled in. Each would update the others with the latest news from back home.

In 1972, Ariella obtained her driver’s license. In 1975 Ariella received her Canadian Citizenship.

In his late 50s, Mario began exhibiting forgetful behaviour and seemed to be confused about simple things. One day he sat down with his wife and asked her to write down their address and phone number, just in case he was asked and forgot. This became progressively worse over time.

Eventually he went to a specialist, to see what was wrong; he remembered having two sons but couldn’t remember what day it was. He was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s in 1988, at the age of 61.

At the same time, Ariella learned that her mother, who was visiting from Italy, was battling cancer and had deteriorated significantly and had to be sent back to Italy early. Ariella and Mario went with her, where Ariella cared for her dying mother and her husband. Mario’s condition deteriorated quickly and was sent to a specialist. Ariella had to miss her mother’s funeral to take care of her husband.

Mario would spend most days sleeping but at night he would get up and walk around. Ariella and Robert did what they could to take care of him but when things became too much, the family agreed to admit him to a nursing home, where he could receive 24 hr supervision and proper care. He spent the rest of his life in a nursing home, with daily visits from his wife, regular visits from his family and extended family and where he met his first grandson.

In May 1995, Mario passed away.

In 2002 Ariella met a recent widower, whose sister-in-law so happened to be Ariella’s older sister’s neighbour. What started out as a simple renovation at Ariella’s house blossomed into a 16+ year friendship, where they spent most days together, went to see plays, went dancing, took vacations together down south and even to Italy to visit Ariella’s family.

In September of 2018, while they were out shopping, Ariella’s companion suffered a stroke and passed away, leaving Ariella alone once again.

Ariella still lives in the small bungalow that she and Mario purchased in 1962.